Winner Takes All
by Safaia-chan
Summary: Sasuke is a mobster,drug dealer,playboy, an athelete and golden student.Sasuke meets his match when he messes with the wrong girl.What better way to get to Sasu than through his bro Itachi the school nerd? Top it all teachers from hell rules! Sasu VS Saku
1. Mr Perfect And The Nerd

Please review... I would love to know what you think... Flames are allowed

Just review...to those who reads...thank you...Enjoy...

Not sure if its a sasusaku yet...still thinking...hope u like the story...

* * *

**The Nerd and Mr. Perfect**

The epitome of a dark, hot, sexy, badass, demigod traps a fine-looking blonde cheerleader against her locker. His hands on either side of it.

He is clad in a body hugging sleeveless ebony denim shirt and loose fitting baggy pants with many pockets and chains. The tight shirt traced out his well build torso.

His name?...

Uchiha Sasuke.

The MOST popular guy in school and within a hundred kilometer radius.

"So babe… I'll pick you up at 8 tonight? Crimson orbs meets azure.

The blonde cheerleader blushed feverishly and nodded. A date with him is a date to die for… literally. You'd be lucky to still be a virgin after that.

"You shine like a diamond in my eyes… If your beauty was time, it'd be eternity". Standard line…

Now her life is complete and it better be. Sasuke's girlfriend is the head of the cheerleading squad. Not someone to mess with.

Sasuke smirked turning to join his underlings. He strode down the hall with an air of arrogant as he particle owns it. This part of the school is even named _The Sasuke District._

Well that blonde is just a mediocre. Sasuke had asked her out to make a perfect record. He has gone out with every single one of the cheerleaders on the squad but this. Now he can proudly say I have fuck with every one of them. Life is great…

A certain blonde joined him with a red head.

"So?"

"Date at 8"

"Oh Yeah Dantebayo!!" the blonde turn to the red head. "Gaara…" he rubbed his fingers together into the international sign which means cash.

"Damn you Naruto" Gaara reached into his pocket for a fifty. "Here"

Down the hall Naruto pulls out a cigarette.

"Boss_ "egg white"_ ahead Dantebayo" Naruto gave a puff on his cigarette.

Sasuke nodded and reached into his many pockets for a small packet of white powder.

Cocaine.

" Neji, you bring me my stuff?"

"You bring me mine?"

Sasuke smirked and pushed pass Neji, bumping his shoulder.

"Watch your language" Sasuke whisper.

The exchange was made. Sasuke slips 6 grand into his pocket.

"How much?" Naruto asked.

"6 G's"

"I thought it only worth 4?"

"This is business"

**RING!! **

"We are late for class" Gaara groan.

"I'm skipping" Sasuke reply

. It is no big deal for him. Sasuke has always managed to come out at the top of his form despite his constant disappearance in class. A born prodigy.

"Naruto since you are going to class you can leave the excuse part to Gaara"

"But…"

"Yeah…_**Sasuke DIED DANTEBAYO**_ is a great excuse" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Hey I thought it was great dantebayo"

"…"

* * *

The world's biggest nerd with long unruly obsidian hair to just above his elbow rushed down flights of staircase.

He was already 5 seconds late for his PE class. 5 LONG seconds… make it 6 and counting to his most dreaded class as he is known as_ the_ _human punching bag. _

Well he look like one too and that's not saying a lot. He is clad in orange and black checkers pants too short for him as it hangs mid air around his ankle with some alien belt wrap around his waist and pale blue striped shirt button all the way up to his neck even if he isn't wearing tie not to mention high stoking.

Typical nerd much?

**CRASH!**

A gang of school bullies tripped him. He fall face first down the stairs; books, papers, and lots of other junks fell out his bag.

"Opps… didn't see you there Itachi" they laughed.

Ignoring them he quickly collects his scattered stuff. His thick black frame glasses with thick cello tape on the middle cracked slightly.

"I need to get to the gym" he whimpered softly.

* * *

5…4…3…2…1…

"WAHHH! MY HAIR!! MY YOUTHFUL HAIR!!" Sasuke smirked outside the teacher's lounge.

Mission complete… So what's next?

Sasuke leans indolently on the school stairs. The hall is dead silent and occasionally teachers passed by as they hurry to their next class. They ignore him. No one messes with Sasuke and gets away with it. They cherish their assets far too much to knock some sense into him. Besides… he is their golden student after all.

"_So what do we have today?" _Sasuke pulls out a little ebony note book which held his deepest darkest secrets and halfhearted flips it to his to-do list

_**Cheerleaders to Date**_

_1. Sakura- done- She's a hot bitch…Nose bleed…_

_2. Temari- done- A whore…Nice boobs…_

_3. Tenten- done- Is she even a girl?! NO CURVES…Scarred for life…EWWWW!!_

_4. Karin-done- Bitch but good in bed…got to get her again…yeah…_

_And the list goes on…_

_25. Ino-done-……._

"_Yep…we'll fine out what you are tonight" _

_**Teachers to torture today**_

_English: Orochimaru: Gay Pedophile: Frame him for child molestation: Failed: DANG!!_

_History: Tobi: Idiot: Lock him in the janitors closet- Done_

_PE: Gai: Toooo Youthful: Shave his hair bold when asleep in the teachers lounge- Done_

_**Activities Today**_

_Favorite pass time: favorite target: __**Itachi-…**_

A smirk twitches its way onto Sasuke's lips.

Sweet….45 minutes and counting.

"_That loser should thank me for making him not so invisible"_

True…

Itachi is also known as _**Sasuke's Toy. **_Well at least people know he existed. Chucking the ebony book into his _Billabong _sling bag he plucked his mp4 to his ears.

_**Brother, My Brother  
Tell me what are we fighting for  
We've got to end this war  
We should love one another  
Oh, can't we just pretend  
This war never began  
We can try  
Brother, my brother**_

**_We face each other from different sides  
The anger burns, can't remember why  
It's kinda crazy to cause such pain  
Our foolish pride makes us hate this way_**

**_We watch our world fall apart….._**

* * *

Itachi reached the gym panting as he shoves the door open. No one even knows he entered the gym. That's weird… everyone's sitting on the bench. Well guess its theory today.

_Thank GOD! NO PUNCHING BAG!_

"NERDY SCUM BAG you are late!!"

Maybe not that lucky. The sir with silver spiky locks turns to face Itachi.

"KAKASHI ?! FUCK!!" Itachi said before he could stop himself.

Laughter echoed through the entire gym, but is silent by one glare from Kakashi.

"Yes NERD our lesson today is about fucking, it's called _**SEX EDUCATION**_! And I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last breathing creature in the universe"

"…"

"SIT! YOU MUTT!"

Itachi rush to take his sit beside his 3 **only** friends.

"Did you talk to her?" asked his blue friend.

"Spill it" said the other with long blonde hair tie in a high ponytail and bangs covering half his face.

"Hi Kisame, Deidara, Sasori…no I didn't".

"Gai wouldn't show up for any of his class…that's why Kakashi's taking over for a while" Sasori wrap a hand around Deidara's waist pulling him closer into a warm embrace.

"Life sucks" Itachi mumbled fantasizing about his idol.

Itachi has a huge crush on the schools most feared, influential, stunning and popular girl. The head cheerleader… The Goddess Venus…

Haruno Sakura...

That girl is sitting on the very top of the social pyramid while Itachi hits rock bottom and still digging a few more hundred feet below. Sakura barely even know Itachi existed. To top it all, her boyfriend is no other than the stunning demigod **Sasuke**.

"Hey you Bitch come here" Kakashi points at Deidara.

"I'm a GUY!"

"Shut up seme and get in front here"

"I'm NOT a seme!"

"You will **be** today **MAN BITCH**…we need demonstration for our lesson today"

"I am an UKE! NOT SEME!"

"Seme just shut it… and you BARBIE FREAK you are an UKE! Kakashi points at another male student.

"But"

"NO BUTS"

"I AM NOT A SEME! SASORI'S THE SEME! AND DAMN DOES HE HAVE AN INHUMAN STAMINA AND A CUTE PIECE OF ASS! AND A BIG Di- OUCH!"

Itachi kicked Deidara on the shin. Sasori's face is as red as a tomato. Everyone else except Kakashi…Scarred for life.

"What?!"

* * *

**RING!!**

Sasuke smirked, time for his favorite pass time. Naruto and Gaara weren't far behind.

"We'll meet him outside the gym" Yeah... this is an everyday routine, so much so that they even memorize Itachi's schedule better than him.

"What's the plan?" Gaara ask.

"I was thinking…strip him and lock him in _**The **__**Big Boob's**_ office" Sasuke smirked.

"Sweet…Tsunade's going to skin him"

Tsunade- The badass principle.

"Weasel boy…I think you have an appointment with the Big Boobs" Sasuke stopped Itachi and his freaky friends outside the gym.

"Err… I do?"

"Yeah dantebayo!" Naruto punched the air.

"…"

"That's just so wrong in so many degrees" Gaara hissed.

**BAM! OUCH!**

Sasuke took a hold on Itachi's collar and throw him to the wall. Grabbing Itachi's long locks he gave it a harsh tug so that Itachi would be facing him.

"So…Sharky, and gays…you wants to join in the fun?" Gaara licked his lips.

"Just GO! GO WITHOUT ME!!" Itachi's eyes watered in pain.

"OKAY!!" the 3 took off down the hall.

"What the fuck…that's what you call friends?" Gaara gapped.

"That was just a **cliché**! GET BACK HERE!!" Itachi yelled.

* * *

**At The Nerds AND Freaks Table…**

"You think we should have left?" Kisame looked annoyingly at the kissing scene in front of him.

"Ummm"

"CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE STOP KISSING FOR 1 MINUTE?"

Pulling their lips away from each other Sasori said "I hate wasting time"

"…"

"He did say leave without him right?" Deidara twist his slender fingers in Sasori's red locks.

"Yeah"

"Good! Than there's nothing to worry about" Deidara cuddles up towards Sasori.

"Okay… if you say so"

* * *

**STOP! **

**WAH! **

**OUCH! **

**OWH! **

**SLAM! **

Everyone avoided the restroom….even the teachers. Sasuke is having his fun.

RULE NO.1: **Never ever** interrupt Sasuke

RULE NO.2: STAY OUT OF THE WAY IF YOU **DO NOT** WANT TO BE NEXT!!

They punch and kick Itachi mercilessly. The more he begged them to stop the worst they hurt him.

"So you having fun yet?"

"STOP! SASUKE! STOP!"

"HEHEHEHE!"

"Hey stripe him!"

"Hehehe"

"STOP!!" Itachi elbowed Gaara as they tried to rip his shirt off.

"PLEASE OTOU…" Sasuke punched Itachi in the face before he finish, breaking his nose.

"OWH!" Itachi crouched on the floor trying to stop the profuse bleeding.

They rip his clothes off just as planned. Sasuke grabbed onto Itachi's hair and dragged him like an animal to the opposite room which says **TSUNADE**. Shoving the ivory door open, Sasuke pushed him in locking it with a click.

Sasuke hadn't meant to break his nose but he held no remorse.

**FOR GOD SAKE THAT GUY ALMOST RUIN HIS LIFE!!**

Imagine if anyone found out that his older brother is the school's biggest** nerd**.

* * *

**Moral class…**

Sasuke took his sit next to his underlings with Naruto and Gaara. "Where did you go?" asked the underling wearing an Emporio Armani 9337 sunglass and ebony jacket with a hood over his head.

"Yo Shino, Kiba, Sai, Shika you guys missed the fun! Dantebayo!!"

"**Quite** or _**pay**_" boomed their Moral teacher strolling in.

"Afternoon!" the class greet.

"That's ten buck each!"

"WHAT!!"

"You want to make it twenty?"

"…"

"Just like I thought… Now let the lesson began"

"You girl…what's your ambition?" Kakuzu asked.

"Err…reporter"

"Why?"

"Umm…I want to tell the world the truth and help justice and…"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT **CRAP!** YOU WANT TO BE A REPORTER **FOR THE GREEN**!! NOT JUSTICE!! **MONEY IS THE WORLD**!! THIS MONEY SUCKING PIT HAS CORRUPTED YOUR BRAIN"

"…"

"Okay Sasuke! What about you?"

"I don't care even if it is against the law…I am where the money is"

"NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALIKING ABOUT!! **MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND**!!"

"…"

"ALL YOU USELESS SCUM BAGS TAKE IT FROM SASUKE"

"Err…isn't this suppose to be moral class where we are thought to be goody daisy?" one of the students whisper.

"I heard that **HINATA**! Now **bribe **me if you do not want trouble" Kakuzu held out his hand.

* * *

"ITACHI!!" boomed a blood curdling shriek which echoed from every corner of the school.

"I can explain…"

"You pervert!!" _"Dude nice body…masculine…from a nerd? Now that's new"_

"Tsunade…It's not what you think"

"I'm not thinking anything!! Now GET OUT BEFORE I RA-THROW YOU OUT!! AND GO SEE THE NURSE ABOUT YOUR FREAKING NOSE!!" _"Damn he is hot…he should really come to school without clothes…guess brothers look alike" _

"How am I suppose to get out? I'm not wearing anything but boxers!"

"That's an improvement_" "Damn he might even be hotter than Sasuke"_

* * *

"_Now why do I have the urge to burn down Tsunade's office all of a sudden?" _Sasuke came to a halt at the school exit.

"Sasuke kun" came a feminine seductive voice, an arm wrap around his torso.

"Sakura chan…I think I am lost"

"Really? Naughty boy" Sakura twist her slender finger in his obsidian locks playfully.

"Can you blame me? I am lost in your gorgeousness" Sasuke turned to her and took her.

Their kiss starts like any routine. Their kiss deepens with the passing of second; Sakura gropes Sasuke's back almost violently. Sasuke's tongue probes that gentle flesh asking for entrance which was granted immediately. His tongue ravaged every inch of that warm cavern, tasting it, remembering her unique scent. Soon the needs for air become too overwhelm causing them to break apart. Thin string of saliva connects.

"You haven't lost touch of your skills ne?" Sasuke cascade her lips tenderly.

Passer by stared at them in envy, either wishing they are either Sasuke or Sakura.

"Sasuke… I love you"

"I know you do precious"

"Hey I've been thinking... we've been together for about 3 months already, I think its time you meet my parents"

"Err…why?"

"I really want this relationship to work…I really love you"

"And?"

"Look…why is it so hard to just come meet my parents?" Sakura asked heatedly.

* * *

"Hey…looks like they are having an argument" Naruto whisper to Gaara as they stood a distant.

"Let's bet… I want my fifty back"

"I pick Sasuke dantebayo!!"

"Sakura"

* * *

"Well Sakura…meeting your parent kind of means a long term relationship" Sasuke said.

"Don't you want it to be so?!"

"Not really"

"SASUKE! WE SLEPT TOGETHER A NUMBER OF TIMES ALREADY!! DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!!"

"Sakura let me put this straight…I **HAVE** trouble with commitments"

"WHAT!"

"Look girls make love to a guy because they love them but guy wants a girl only for it"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!!"

"Okay…that **did not** come out right…"

"Look…do you want this relationship or NOT!! Just say it if you want it to stop! I can handle it" Sakura's voice shook in anger.

"If you want me to be committed than I guess this is goodbye"

"How DARE YOU DUMP ME!!"

"That's… not what I said…"

"YOU FUCKING SLUT!! NOBODY DUMPS ME!! NOBODY!!"

"Sakura…"

"YOU JUST WAIT UCHIHA SASUKE!! YOU WILL REGREAT IT!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!"

"Err…" Sasuke backs away a little from the crazy Sakura.

**OUCH!! OWH!!**

Pain shot up Sasuke's spine as he collapsed to the ground in pain. Sakura had kicked him in between the legs.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!! YOU THINK IT'S A SOCCER BALL OR SOMETHING?! FUCK!!" Sasuke groan, his eyes watery.

"Yeah I thought its a soccer ball...Guess i kick the wrong one...I don't think you can fuck anymore"

* * *

**Sakura -1**

**Sasuke -0**

"DAMN…OUCH! That's got to hurt like hell dantebayo"

"You lost" Gaara held out a hand.

* * *

The battle begun… Sasuke Vs Sakura…

"I WILL NOT FORGET!! I WILL DESTROY YOU SASUKE!!" Sakura storms away to her red Saleen S7 Twin Turbo where Temari and Karin are waiting patiently for the free ride.

"Sasuke…You okay?" Gaara went to him.

"DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU **USURATONKACHI**?!" Naruto helped Sasuke up.

"…"

"Damn… if it isn't against my principle I would have hit that bitch…I'll get her"

"..."

"OWH! I think that bitch dislocated my balls...damn i don't think i'll be fucking anytime soon"

"She did admit she mistaken it for a soccer ball so its an accident...Right?" Naruto ask completely oblivious of the malicious aura enveloping him.

**OWH! HOLY CRAP! SHIT!!**

"MY BALLS DUDE!!"

"Shut IT!! I thought it WAS A **SOCCER BALL**!!"

"Was it something i said?" Naruto look up from the ground as Sasuke limps out the door.

"It is always something you said" Gaara shook his head in disbelief.

* * *

Please review Thank you... Flames are allowed... I'll update faster if i get reviews...


	2. Miss Sasuke?

Thanks for those who reviewed the first chapter...I really appreciate it...

Please continue to review...Thank you

For those who read please review...I really would like to know what you think...

Hope you enjoy this chap as well...

Enjoy...

Flames are accepted...

* * *

**Miss Sasuke? **

**Huh...huh…huh….**

**CRASH!!**

Sasuke knocks over some trash can as he collapse to his knees after a 7 kilometer jog which is surpassingly to be 10 kilometer. He grips the front of his shirt in agony as the pain on his chest tears him; burns him from inside out.

Uh…huh…huh…

**COUGH!! COUGH!! COUGH!!**

His breath came out as short and wheezy as his chest tightens extensively almost choking him. His heart race, his limbs shake, cold sweat cascade down his pale temple. Tears of fear threaten to fall as adrenaline pumps in his veins at the realization.

_"No…it can't be…it's of the past, its not happening"_

**Ugh…huh…huh…**

Dizziness starts to empower Sasuke as his lungs burn with him frantically sucks in more oxygen. Every breath is agony. His slender finger dig the ground to nail breaking extends.

At a snail's pace his vision came into focus, his heart rate calmed.

**SLAM!!**

Sasuke punched the ground in anger and frustration.

_"DAMN IT!!"_

Blood began pulsing out of Sasuke's knuckles as he stares at the ground.

A shadow looms over him.

"I forgive you Sasuke; you can get up now… I don't need you to be on your knees…DATTEBAYO!!"

"SHUT… THE HELL UP NARUTO!!" Sasuke stood up glaring maliciously at the blonde.

If looks could kill, Naruto would have been dead, resurrected and dead again for about 10 times already.

"_How in the world did Naruto interpret his collapse as kneeling for forgiveness again?" _

"Have you been jogging? You look tired dattebayo"

_"Forget I ask" _"NO…I've been sneaking here for masturbating" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What's masturbating? Is it nice?"

_"So he wants to play dumb ne? Fine I'll play" _"It's a type of sausage product".

"Does it help the taste of ramen?"

"Hell **yeah**!!"

Naruto look as though he just discover The Holy Grail.

* * *

"Hey Itachi lets go to a weasel convention ne?" Kisame called after him.

"…"

"Come on, you need a day off from cooking dinner for chicky" Kisame went up to Itachi and puts a **weasel's ear** headband on his head.

"Err…"

"Oh and here" Kisame tied a red bow on Itachi's buttoned up collar.

"…"

"There now you look just like a weasel doll"

"I am human"

"Yeah…yeah whatever…come on"

* * *

Sasuke shove open the door to a dead house after finally finishing his 10 kilometer jog. In annoyance he flips on the switch, why isn't there any fragrant of dinner?...

"Itachi?!"

No answer.

"ITACHI!!" Sasuke stomps into the kitchen.

"Where the **on **hell is he? I can't believe I call off my date for this!" The fact that Sasuke is still sore has absolutely nothing to do with it…Seriously!

**5 hours later… At about 10pm….**

"That's it I'm **not** waiting for him anymore…he can starve if he wants"

Sasuke goes through the fridge and the cabinets looking for anything fit for human consumption when he came across some bread with vegetable or was it sprinkle onions on it in a container.

Well at least that's what it **looked** like. Sasuke have utterly no idea how to utilize the stove or the microwave. Well eating dinner cold isn't so bad if put next to starving.

* * *

**At The Weasel Convention…**

"_**Hey did his friend call him Itachi?"**_

_**"That's what I heard" **_

_**"Isn't that like weasel?" **_

_**"Duh…is there something wrong with your language department?" **_

_**"Hey…" **_

_**"Hn"**_

_**"He must be your relative…you are weasel too" **_

_**"Yeah right! He look more like you"**_

_**"No" **_

_**"yes"**_

_**"No" **_

_**"Yes" **_

_**"No!! Besides he's a nerd…That bow is hideous!!"**_

_**"Ewwwwww….point taken" **_

_**–Weasel language.**_

Itachi look attentively through the cages with Kisame grinning behind." I wonder what the weasels are saying"

"Err…."

"I wish I understand them"

"Trust me, its better not knowing"

"Do you understand them?"

"Well…yeah sort off"

"I want to be able to speak weasels too…where did you learn it?"

"You see…my dad says it's not nice to only communicate with humans"

"Okay…so what are they saying?"

"Err…well…err… You don't want to know…trust me"

"_**HOLY CRAP!! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!! I JUST MET A TALKING WALKING SHARK!! I HAVE ACHIEVED MY LIFE'S GREATEST DREAM!!"**_

_**"I didn't know you have dreams other than sleeping" **_

_**"ME NEITHER!!"**_

_**- Weasel language.**_

"I think they like us Kisame"

"Err…Yeah…sure"

* * *

Kisame drops Itachi off at his house. Just as his slender finger reach the knob….

**WAHHHHHHH!! DON'T YOU FUCKING COME NEAR ME!! I'LL KILL YOU!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! I SWEAR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!**

"Sasuke!" Itachi rushed in.

He would never forgive himself if anything happen to Sasuke. He had lost his parents in a car crash about a decade ago… well not that he cared. His parents never really give a damn about him. They hated him to say the least. His parents saw him as **the son of a devil** just because he is **left handed**. Sasuke is the only one that saw him as human…well at least **used **to.

_"Please don't rape him already"_

"**FUCK YOU TO HELL!!"**

No one would ever dare believe it if they hadn't seen it with their naked eyes.

Sasuke was cornered into a dead end. His back firmly press against the wall with a **butcher's knife** firmly in hand. In front of him is no other than…a _**Blattaria**_

Itachi couldn't control it any longer.

"Hahahaha…hehehehe…"

"SHUT UP!! AND KILL THE DAMN **COCKROACH** ALREADY!!"

"Hahaha…"

"If you don't do it I swear this knife is going to land somewhere other than the cockroach!!"

After getting rid of the object of fear, Sasuke threatens to break Itachi's leg if this ever gets out.

"And TAKE THOSE STUPID EARS OFF!!" Sasuke rips it off Itachi's head roughly throwing it into the trash can; a few of his obsidian strains came loose.

"Where have you been? I almost call the cops"

"What an ass..." Itachi mumbled under his breath.

**SLAM!! **

Sasuke throws Itachi to the fridge. "Don't give me that **crap**!!"

"…"

"Get out of my sight!! AND I **DO NOT** WANT TO SEE THAT **PATHETIC BOW** IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN!!"

"If that's what you want… but did you see my bread mould experiment? It's due tomorrow, it's suppose to be in that container" Itachi points at the empty container on the dinning table.

"…" Sasuke speeded to the bathroom, puking his dinner or more accurately Itachi's project.

"Oh…"

Sasuke spend almost the entire night hugging the **porcelain GOD**…the toilet bowl.

"You okay in there?"

"GO ROT IN HELL YOU SLUT" Sasuke double over.

**COUGH! COUGH! UGH!**

**(A/N: Here Sasuke is 15 and Itachi is 17…I know the age is wrong but I need them to be about the same age to be in the same school. Oh…Sasuke is almost as tall as Itachi in this fic)**

* * *

**Next Morning…**

Everyone have their nose burry in the school's paper. That's saying a lot as the school's journalist is Hinata who wouldn't dare to talk let alone sniff out the latest in thing. Sakura smirked to herself at her little handy work.

**GOAL!! Soccer ball That Started World War 3 **flash across the front page.

Students snicker and grunt in sympathy through out the corridor. Sakura's kind soul has finally decided to help poor unpopular Hinata with her story.

Wonder why?...

Really… and the fact that she has make a mountain out of a molehill about **HER** dumping **HIM** and kicking him in the balls have totally **NOTHING **to do with it.

Temari flips over the paper before chucking it into her locker.

The noise died off as though someone had turned the atmosphere into mute mode. Sasuke and his underlings all clad in black strode down the hall with the school's journalist clad in simple lilac sleeveless shirt and ebony jeans.

"HARUNO!"

Sasuke dragged the journalist brutally by the arm. "Owh.."

"Shut it HYUUGA!!"

**SLAM!**

Sasuke pushed her roughly, throwing her against the locker next the smirking Goddess Venus.

"Care to explain Haruno why this louse accuses you of forcing her to write the damn article?" Sasuke throws the schools paper at Sakura's smug face.

"Stick up your ass Uchiha?"

"I-I'm s-so…"

"SHUT IT HINATA!!" Sasuke glared maliciously at Sakura.

"Poor blind Sasuke, I'm Sakura not Hinata" Sakura tilts her head and cascade her slender finger across Sasuke's lips seductively.

**BAM!!**

"Watch it Haruno" Sasuke slams Sakura's wrist to the locker behind her.

"…"

"**OUCH!!**" Sasuke loosen his grip.

Sakura had stomped her 3 inch heels on his foot. Taking advantage of the situation she backhanded the agonizing Uchiha in front of the entire school.

"Do you miss my touch that much Uchiha to throw your body at me like a worthless whore?"

The entire student body stared in shock. Sakura must be a serious masochist.

* * *

"Ramen dattebayo!!" Naruto ordered.

"Here" the lunch lady shoves a bowl onto his tray.

"Sasuke…you shouldn't loss your cool back then" being a sugar freak, Gaara gulps down his 17th tin of soda today.

"Hn"

"…"

"Hey I just remember! Do you have **masturbating product**? I want to **put **it in my **Ramen** DATTEBAYO!"

**COUGH!! COUGH!! COUGH!!**

Gaara chocked on his soda and Sai almost drop his tray on Naruto.

"I heard it taste yummy DATTEBAYO!!"

Shino and Kiba shift away from either side of Naruto with a look of revulsion printed on their face. The lunch lady almost fainted.

"_He was serious?"_ Sasuke stared in incredulity.

* * *

"Specky…What the fuck did you say happened to your fucked up project again?"

"Err…Asuma sensei…my **otouto** **ate** my project?" Itachi look to the ground.

The whole class erupted into laughter.

"THAT'S THE WORST EXCUSE I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY 10 YEARS OF **FUCKED UP **TEACHING!!"

"…"

"3 weeks of detention for **lying badly**" Asuma puff his cigarette.

"But-"

**RIIIINNNNNNGGG!!**

The sprinkle is turned on…dredging them…

"SENSEI…" The whole class groans.

"DANG!! The smoke alarm again"

* * *

"Come on Temari…hurry up" Sakura made her way to the indoor basketball court with some clothes tug under her arms.

**DUB! DUB! DUB!**

Just as expected, Sasuke, the head of their basketball team is training alone. Skipping class as usual I might add.

Both Sakura and Temari sneak into the locker room silently closing it with a click.

"Hurry up…"

Sakura took all of Sasuke's clothes which lay crumpled on the bench and replacing it with her own. Temari busied herself setting up Sakura's devious plan.

Next…they need to take care of the clothes Sasuke is currently wearing. They waited patiently behind some equipment racks for the Demigod.

**30 minutes late…**

To say the least it's getting really hot with Sakura wearing the skin tight red and black cheerleaders' outfit in a locker room with no air movement.

_"Damn why must this damn clothe be air tight…my sexy body is dying"_

Just when she decides to pull the whole thing off, Sasuke walks in pale, sweaty and panting. He began striping off his basketball attire till he was left with only boxers.

"He is hot" Temari gasped.

Completely oblivious to his missing clothes he grabs his towel wrapping it around his waist and took off his boxers too.

"_Damn…Who ever that created towels must be an idiot of a higher level" _Temari mentally cursed

"Oh this is sweet…" Sakura sneaks out of her hiding place once she hears the sound of running water. She took the basketball clothes as well as the boxers replacing it with a **brilliant red tong.**

* * *

**English class…**

"So you think Sasuke will actually wear them…because seriously he has missed like 3 lessons already?" Temari whispered flipping over her literature book.

"He needs to wear something doesn't he?"

"Today lesssssone issss SSSSSSSSonnet 18 by SSSSSSSShakesssssspear" hissed their language teacher who is a **pervert**, a well-known **gay** and a rumored **pedophile**.

"SSSSakura…pleassssssssssss read"

"Shall I compare thee to a…**HOLY SHIT!!"** Sakura's eyes almost fell out of her socket.

The entire class stared as Sasuke stood at the door with **brilliant pink skin tight spaghetti stripe** tracing every curve of his hot body and **sailor moon mini skirt** so short you couldn't bend without revealing the **tong **underneath.

The whole class erupted into a chorus of laughter that even the Uchiha all famous death glares couldn't conquer.

"SSSSSSSooo niccccccce of you to join ussssssssss **Miss**ssssss SSSSSassssssssuke" his language teacher licked his lips.

"Shut it Orochimaru" Sasuke spat, flashing killer stare at Sakura.

"Take a ssssssssseat right here in front of thissssssssss classssss" Orochimaru motion to an empty desk directly in front of the teachers table.

"Disgusting…" Sasuke wipes the **saliva** that had been spayed on his face with all the **'S'** the pedophile manage to say as he plops down on the seat, but not before the entire class manage to have a peak of his red tong.

"Nice ass Sasuke! Dattebayo!!"

* * *

"Hey Temari did you manage to get it?"

"Hahahaha…uh…Ye-yeah…hahaha" Temari shove her Nokia N95-3 to Sakura with video clip and pictures of Miss Sasuke.

"Sweet…"

* * *

"You think Sasuke still have balls?" Sai looked to the laughing Kiba.

"Yeah…duh… he is a guy"

"You think maybe he lost his penis when Sakura kick his balls to French?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"Sasuke is really sexy in girl's clothes"

"You are sick"

"No…I'm great, I went for a full body check up yesterday"

"…"

"I hope Sasuke doesn't have penis…girls shouldn't"

"Which part of SASUKE IS A **GUY** don't you get!!"

"The skirt part and that he is giving me a hard on just by looking at him right now"

"WHAT THE FUCK!! OKAY…TOO MUCH INFORMATION"

* * *

The lesson went on as usual with Orochimaru reading a passage and them trying to copy down what he reads. It's a wonder why he wouldn't just use the white board which would make everyone's life easier. You get detention with him if you do not finish your work and extra time with a pedophile is just suicide.

Another reason why Sasuke comes to class… Even with a strippers outfit.

There have already been rumors that Orochimaru have this thing for Sasuke… but today was just creepy. Sasuke have this weird feeling that Orochimaru's golden serpentine orbs are checking him out. For safe side he occasionally gives Orochimaru **The Glare** that says touch me and you won't be fucking anymore.

"Hey let me have a look…I can't get him" Naruto crouch next to Sasuke's table trying to take a peak at his book.

"Which part can't you get?" Sasuke snatch the book from Naruto.

**Naruto's Book…**

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSS which isssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssss daysssssssssssssssss causssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssss ssssssssame asssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssnake ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssss ssssssso thisssssssssssss ssssick **

"What the hell is this?" Sasuke glare annoyingly from the book to Naruto.

"What I **heard**…dattebayo"

"SSSSSasssuke" Orochimaru smiles sardonically as though bursting to tell him something he have meant to say since the first day they met.

"What?!"

"Haven't your parentsssss taught you how to be a **proper lady**?"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Language missssssssy"

"…"

"I can ssssssssssssee under your sssssssssssskirt" Orochimaru sprayed **saliva** all over Sasuke.

"Wh-"

Suddenly it snapped, how can he **forget **that he is wearing a damn mini skirt that reach dangerously to his reproductive organ and a red tong FOR GOD SAKE. To top it all he had been **sitting like a guy** the entire lesson which is **not having his legs together**. No wonder Orochimaru have been checking him out.

"YOU PERVERT!!" Sasuke shriek bringing his legs together tightly.

_"How the hell can girls wear something this fucking tight and uncomfortable!! Especially the freaking tong which is straining my crap!! Oh… and I __**hate**__ my name" _Sasuke felt the need to wash his face with heavy duty detergent for industrial use.

The entire class broke into a chorus of laughter again.

"Don't you there" Sasuke glared at Naruto challenging him to even laugh.

**TBC...**

* * *

Review please!! Flames are accepted...I'll update faster if i get reviews...Thank you...Flames are accepted...Please tell me what you think...

Sasuke: I am in a damn skirt?!

Itachi: Serves you right...spoil brat...

Sasuke: What did you say!!

Sakura: I love pink!!(Squel)

Sasuke: this is just so wrong in so many degree

Itachi: Readers please review so Sasuke can go through more torture...

Sasuke: I'll kill YOU!! SHUT UP!!...Review please so i can get back at Sakura...


	3. Where's The Love?

Thanks to those who reveiwed the last chap...Continue to reveiw please

I love reviews...Flames are accepted...

I'll update faster if i get reviews...

Hope you enjoy this chapter...

* * *

****

Where's the Love?

The rumors that Sasuke is gay spread like wild fire. The girls almost tore their pretty locks off at the thought while the guys cheered. Oh yeah! Actually half the guys in the school have this huge forbidden crush on him. To top it all…he did make a really sexy guy and a great uke. I mean…it's even in his name. Sas uke….

The weeks have been interesting with Sasuke beating the living light out of more guys he could count. And if that isn't bad enough, the schools gays and bis' have been hitting on him ever since

_**Dear my love,**_

_**By the moon and the stars I swear I will go to the ends of this earth for you my love,**_

_**Your eyes so red…it just rips the beating heart out of my chest…**_

_**You are the epitome of the sexiest male girl I have ever set eyes on…**_

_**You are indeed the glorious Uke…**_

_**Its destiny that we met…**_

_**My love I …**_

**CRUNCH**

Sasuke rip the 175th letter he have received that week into smatterings…his crimson orbs burned with blazing rage as he emits killer aura to a 50 meter radius.

Everyone stayed out of his way; they prefer to keep their internal organs inside the way they were, thank you.

"Hey boss…its valentine tomorrow, It should be interesting Dattebayo!" Naruto tackled Sasuke, completely oblivious to the danger radar sensor that screeches to ear throbbing point in his head.

**WAMP!**

Sasuke kicked Naruto in the gut. Naruto double over in pain but Sasuke wasn't quiet done yet.

To say the least he was in a very foul mood and all his logic have been thrown out the window. Sasuke kick Naruto repeatedly breaking at least 3 ribs, than when to punching him and slamming his head onto the ground

**OWH! OUCH! STOP! SASUKE! OWH!**

"Sasuke! Get a hold of yourself!" Gaara shriek pulling Sasuke off before Sasuke accidentally kills Naruto.

"STOP! Sasuke stop!"

**CRASH!!**

Gaara threw Sasuke against the locker.

"Naruto…you alive?"

"Uh…yeah…" Naruto nodded weakly.

Huh…huh….huh…

**COUGH! COUGH!**

"Sasuke…are you okay?" Gaara looked worriedly over his shoulder.

Sasuke looked pale, cold sweat cascade down his temple as he grasp the front of his shirt tightly with a pained expression printed on his features.

**COUGH! COUGH!!**

"I…am…..fine…"He panted.

On all fours his breath hitch, strains of saliva drip from the side of his cavern.

"Sasuke…you-"

"I'm…fine!"

* * *

**Valentine morning….**

Sakura stood in front of all her underlings with a stack of paper by her feet.

"Girls…I was thinking of cheering poor Sasuke up…he seems to have lost it lately" she smirk.

"…"

"Tenten and Tayuya…you two will decorate the east hall"

"It's already been decorated" Tayuya piped.

"Yeah…but not with these" Sakura nudge the mammoth stack of papers near her feet.

"But-"

"Just do it okay…its not like they weight **a ton**" Sakura said annoyingly than turn to Temari and Karin who have been holding the same amount of paper the entire time.

"Come on you two…lets decorate _The Sasuke District_ with them" she skipped down the hall leaving the both of them to catch up.

"Holy shit…Temari…my…hands" Karin panted, almost collapsing under the weight.

"Tell…that to the... bitch" Temari could hardly see where she was going with all the papers in her face.

"Come on you two…hurry up…do I have to do everything myself around here?" came a shrill with Sakura written all over it.

The queen bee stood a distance with her hands on her hip, waiting for her underling.

"We are trying!" Temari snapped. _"She is right by saying this doesn't weight __**a**__ ton…It weights a __**few **__tons"_

Naruto limps down the pinkly draped hall with bandages all over, thanks to his big mouth.

Love is in the air…

His eyes bulged to the size of a dinner plate and almost falling out of its socket.

The entire hall is drape with Miss Sasuke's poster.

**I Look like a Women** flashes across the heading.

Just bellow them is a fully colored Sasuke in his brilliant pink spaghetti stripe but with a little alteration that gave him a boob effect plus his lips looked rosy as though with lipstick. His usually feminine eyes looked worst as though with mascara.

Wow! Those are some serious alteration.

"Oh good Lord! Jesus, Mary Joseph! Is Armageddon here already?! People are in some deep shit!"

Naruto reached for his Nokia 8800 Arte and dialed the only number he knows that could possible do some damage control before Sasuke gets to see the school's new valentine decoration.

**Beep beep beep**

"PICK UP! PICK UP GOD DAMMIT!"

"Hello…"

"GAARA!! GAARA!!"

"Yes I know I am Gaara! Stop yelling!"

"We have serious problem and Sasuke is going to blow the gasket if he sees them"

"How serious?"

"Serious enough for me to start worrying about Sakura's** life**"

"Okay…just hang on and I'll be there in five with the gang"

"_Damn you Sakura…don't you fucking knows the limit?"_

The entire gang rush around school tearing down as many posters as they possible can but that doesn't mean people hadn't seen it.

Its just damage control…yeah crap work…but someone's got to do it.

"Okay…we've covered most of it already…just…" Kiba trailed off when he noticed a random student coming their way with the schools paper.

Guess what make the front page?

"What?!" Shino looked at him confuse.

"The paper…" "Damn…this is bad"

Sakura sat laughing her little head off with all her underlings looking worn out.

"This is the best joke of the year ne?"

"Yeah…"

What they need isn't a joke…they need a bucket of ice to soot their aching muscle and a BIG STICK to shove it up the Goddess Venus ass. If it's even possible…Sakura is a bigger jerk the demigod.

"HARUNO BITCH!" Sasuke shriek losing his cool.

Sakura's underlings immediately move out of the way. It wasn't their idea to put the posters up and a raging Uchiha is the last thing you might see if are on his hate list.

"I was just trying to boost your popularity…like it?"

"Fuck!"

**CRASH!! **

Sasuke toss her desk over crashing over a few desks nearby in the process.

"You…"

"SASUKE!" came a husky voice.

"WHAT?!"

"You will sit down and apologies to Miss Haruno" Sasuke turn facing the owner of the voice with malice in his burning crimson orbs.

He is ridding on his last straw now and would most likely snap if anyone dead or alive make one more snide remark.

"I hope you rot in hell Asuma" Sasuke gave one last glare at the smug bitch.

He decides he doesn't give a damn any more.

**CRASH!**

Sasuke kicks Sakura's chair upsetting it. Sakura was caught off guard hitting the ground head first.

"OWH!" Sakura grip her throbbing head as though a jackhammer have just have a go on her skull.

"Sasuke! That's it! Detention for a month!" Asuma shriek rushing over to help Sakura to her feet.

"Hmp…I can live with that asshole"

The entire class kept their mouth shut, Sasuke may be calm now but he in some ways represent the weather. It is just the calm before the storm. Sakura have cross the line and kicking her off the chair isn't even close to what happen to people when they get onto the wrong side of an Uchiha.

As for Asuma…he is about to find out what happen when you interfere with Sasuke.

* * *

Asuma resume to his lesson as usual…but today's topic sure got everyone's attention. It's about reproduction. The guy's snickered all the way through while receiving dead glares from the girls.

"To conclude today's lesson I'm giving all of you an assignment"

"Is it making babies?!" a guy asked stupidly.

"Not exactly…it's about parenting"

"…"

"You will be paired up and you will work together taking care of a chick for a whole month"

"I'm ON dattebayo!"

"Good!"

"Do we get to pick which hot chick we get to spend the entire month with dattebayo?!"

"Noodle freak! I meant chick as in baby chickens not girls!"

"Oh man…."

"Okay…your pairs…the list is on the wall I'll get you the chicks tomorrow"

**The Pair List **

_Naruto and Temari_

_Kiba and Tenten_

_Shikamaru and Hinata_

_**Sasuke and Sakura**_

_Sai and Karin_

_And the list goes on…._

**RING!!**

"Class dismissed…."

The entire class rush forward towards the notice board.

* * *

Itachi stood fidgeting outside the science lab with a red rose in hand. He had worked up all his courage to even consider getting his secret crush something.

How bad can it be…it's not like he is going to hug her or anything. He just wanted to give her a little present.

The class filtered out through the door. Sasuke catching a glance at his brother looked away as though he hadn't seen him at all.

Sasuke have more important matters at hand. And receiving a mountain of disgusting valentine chocolate top the list as he makes his way to the cafeteria.

Oh and how can he forget? He had planned a valentine gift for Sakura just like how she had planned one for him.

Its valentine…come on…where's the love? Can't you see that Sasuke has sprouted little wings with a cupid arrow aiming at Sakura?...

Yeah at her heart.

"So Sasuke is paired with me ne?" Itachi froze at that sweet voice of his crush.

"This is going to be…."

"Sa…Sakura san" Itachi stammered.

"Ewww! A nerd is talking to me!" Sakura looked infuriated at the thought of someone so low would even dare stand less than 10 meter away from her.

"Ha-happy valentine day" Itachi showed her the rose shakily.

Sakura looked revolted while her underlings snickered.

"Do you even have a mirror?! I suggest you take a look at your pathetic face before even talking to Sakura here" Karin mocked loud enough for the entire hall to hear.

A chorus of laughter filled the hall; insults were thrown at him for his stupidity that Sakura would even accept his gift. Itachi looked crest fallen, he didn't know it would be this bad.

"Ah…wait here Orochimaru looked alike...since you have the pathetic courage to be in my presence I'll reward you" Sakura teased striding back into the science lab leaving Itachi to be taunted by her ruthless underlings.

Temari scrolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Okay…" Sakura came out not a minute later wearing gloves and a forceps in hand.

"Here…I'll help you get rid off it" Sakura took the rose using forceps and threw it in the science trash can with a radioactive symbol.

"There…now your nerd contagious trash is gone" Sakura laughed striding down the hall with her underlings.

Itachi took off down the hall, red in face his chest ached. All he wanted was just to wish Happy Valentine.

Was he really that awful to look at? Was he really that pathetic? Was he such an embarrassment that no one would take a second look at him?

No wonder his little brother hated him…No wonder he hadn't much friends...No wonder even when his parents were around they hated him.

Every corner he turned students mocked him, laughing their heads off.

* * *

**At the COOL table**

"Next!" Sasuke threw the 378th box of valentine chocolate onto his mountain of valentine gift.

Sasuke hated sweets and thank God no one had figured that out yet other than his gang. So every year his underlings would go home with all the sweets leaving Sasuke with his ebony pile of stuff that are not sweets.

"That box is mine dattebayo"

"yeah yeah whatever…there's plenty to go around" Gaara already started ripping his 15th box of chocolate from the pile.

**At the Cheerleaders Table**

"Thank you…" Sakura place the gift on her pile.

"Well that's about all the cool guys" Karin ticked off another name from her note book.

"Good…my jaws are aching with this smile"

"Just…another 179 more to go"

"Hey…I'm going to go somewhere" Temari stood up.

"Where?" Sakura place yet another box onto her mass of gift.

"None of your business"

* * *

Itachi sat alone below a cherry blossom tree as the cool winter breeze blew. He shivered hugging himself but refuse to join his friends at the cafeteria.

He would just be a joke…well not to his friends but to the rest of the school.

"Hey…" came a voice.

Itachi almost jump out of his skin, being so frustrated he hadn't even realize anyone approaching. Itachi stood up immediately not daring to look into those clear azure orbs.

"I-I'm sorry…I'll be leaving now" Itachi turned to go.

"Wait…I'm Temari…do you mind accompanying me?" Temari smiled warmly.

"Y-you serious" Itachi said in disbelief eyeing her red and black cheerleaders outfit.

Shouldn't she be at the cheerleaders table? Temari went to sit on the patch where Itachi had recently sat smiling warmly.

"Why?" Itachi sat adjacent to her, his gaze trained to the ground.

His let down obsidian locks hang loosely hiding his face.

"I'm sorry about Sakura…she is an ass sometimes" Temari shift, sitting nearer to Itachi.

"…"

"What's your name?"

"…Itachi"

"Family name?"

"…"

"Well its okay, you don't have to tell me"

"Thanks" Itachi smile.

Temari looked at him in annoyance. Why wouldn't he look at her? She isn't going to eat him…Okay…so cheerleaders are notorious to being arrogant bastards but she is different.

A smile twitches its way onto her thin lips.

"Hey…look at me…I won't eat you" Temari brush his obsidian locks to the back of his ears.

Itachi still have his gaze to the ground as Temari push all his unruly locks away from his porcelain features.

"Hey come on…I want to see you clearly"

"I'm pathetic…"

"Not all of us are an ass"

Slowly crimson meets azure.

"Your eyes…." Temari almost gasp in shock.

"…"

"They remind me of some one but I just don't remember who" Temari went to taking of those hideous glasses that hides his crimson orbs.

"I c-can't see without them"

"Sorry" Temari hastily puts them back..

"It's okay"

"Your features look so familiar" Temari studied them.

"You just seen me in front of the science lab"

"Maybe…but I think I've seen them somewhere else"

"…"

"Why do you keep your hair down to hide your face?"

"I'm pathetic…"

"No…You are different"

"I'm a nerd…you cheerleaders hated my very existent"

"I'm different"

"Temari…thank you" he smile.

* * *

**KABOOM ! **The ground rattled, the windows shattered.

The entire student body ran out off the cafeteria and wherever they are gathering at the parking lot as thick smoke entered the building.

A red Saleen S7 Twin Turbo has been blown up to pieces creating a small crater filled with useless scraps. Properties within 10 meters from the blast are non existent.

"My BABY!!" Sakura pushed through the muttering crowd.

Total havoc...

Sakura clutches the frame of her chest shakily, sinking to her knees hot tears surge down her cheek when she saw the wreckage.

"He…he…tried to kill me…?"

"This is just **warning**…Now **do you see **who you are dealing with?" came an all too familiar voice.

Sakura turns to glare at the smirking Uchiha as he disappears into the chaotic crowd mouthing the word **"Happy Valentine Bitch…enjoy"**

* * *

**Knock knock….**

"What?!" Sasuke yelled turning down his stereo that's been blasting the room than yanks the door open eyeing his brother annoyingly.

"Happy Valentine" Itachi showed Sasuke an ebony package.

"You just never get tired of giving me things do you?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Every year Itachi would get him something no matter what he does. He just don't get it…they weren't even close, not to mention he pushes him around.

And every year Itachi would give him the same excuse that they are brothers and he really want to get him something to show that he love him no matter what or something along those lines anyway. Sasuke wasn't listening.

In the end he got tired of arguing and so this is an every year routine.

"Okay…err… wait" Sasuke took the package than slams the door in Itachi's face again.

A minute later Sasuke immerged with a pink package in his hand.

"I didn't get you anything so take this…some crazy chick gave them to me…I don't want them"

"Thanks…I love sweets"

"I know… Happy Valentine Itachi" Sasuke said before closing the door.

* * *

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	4. Uchiha Vs Haruno

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Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter...

Thank you...

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enjoy...

* * *

**Uchiha Vs Haruno**

The violin played a soft dreamy melody soothing for the ear. The atmosphere surreal as Japan's finest restaurant serves the best cuisine and numerous delicacies know to man kind even fitting those of exotic taste buds.

"I can't believe that Uchiha blown up my baby!!" Sakura forked her steak grudgingly with enough force to crook the fork before slicing it, all the while picturing Sasuke's head on the platter.

"Thanks for inviting me to dinner at this place" Temari chewed her lobster.

"It's nothing…piece of cake"

"_Yeah a piece of extremely expensive cake"_ Temari nodded.

"How can he blow up my car after all I have done for him?!"

"You are right, he is a basta-"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!! I MEAN I TOTALLY EMBARRASE HIM IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!!"

"Okay…maybe that's why he-"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!! THAT CAR WORTH MORE THAN YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE PLUS YOUR PARENTS ACCOUNT PUT TOGETHER!!"

"Y-yeah he is a jerk for overreac-"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! I PROBABLY DESTROY HIS PRIDE!! AND PRIDE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A MANS LIFE!!"

"Okay!! Whose side are you on again?"

"No idea…AHH!! I'm just so frustrated!!"

_"That's obvious if not crazy" _"Sakura…I'm pretty sure the steak's hack up enough already" Temari glance at Sakura's pile of shredded _**stuff.**_

"Hey isn't that Sasuke over there with Ino" Temari look pass Sakura's pink head.

"Where?!" Sakura eyed with rage.

"…"

"That damn jerk sure move on fast!

"…"

"How can Ino go out with him when she knows I've dumped him?"

"Isn't that the point?"

"NO!! Nobody date guys that I've dump!!"

"…"

"Guys that I've dumped must die alone for they are jerks!!"

_"Scary…"_

"Come on! I want to hear what he is saying"

"I don't th-" Sakura had already left the table leaving Temari to reluctantly catch up.

* * *

"God must be in a good mood when he made you, for you resembled nothing earth has ever laid eyes on" Sasuke cooed handing the menu back to the waiter clad in black and white.

"Thanks…This place is lovely"

Hiding behind some plantation Sakura and Temari could hear everything the demigod utter.

"Yeah you resemble nothing because you are so damn ugly!!" Sakura cursed

"Stop being absurd about this whole thing"

"Uh…What's absurd?"

"Ridiculous…"

"I'm **NOT** being abstain!"

"Absurd…"

"Whatever!"

"Anything for a cherub like you" Ino blush feverishly taking small sips of her juice. Sasuke's hand snaked up Ino's tight causing her to gasp in surprise spilling a little of her drink.

"What's a cherub?" Sakura look at Temari in wonder

"Seraph…"

"Uh…English?"

"Angel…"

"Oh…"

"…"

"That damn Uchiha…keep your hand to yourself bastard!" Sakura cursed under her breath.

Their date goes on as normal with Sasuke complimenting the entire time making Ino blush so bad she almost topple over her juice. Much to Sakura's dismay she didn't.

Temari finds it harder and harder to keep their hiding place a secret with Sakura's constant snide remarks and insults.

"I hope she chokes to death"

* * *

"Ino…"

"Y-yes?" Ino almost jump out of her skin as she did not realize Sasuke had moved so close to her.

His warm breath gentle brushes her face.

"You are indeed stunning"

Sasuke shut their distance and soon their lips lock in what started out as a soft passionate kiss to almost violent and erotic at the same time. Their tongue entangle in a battle for dominance as Ino twisted her slender finger tightly on Sasuke's obsidian locks. They broke apart panting, their breath mixed.

Temari have to literally pin Sakura down almost toppling the entire potted plant in the process which would be an improvement seeing as it will crash at least one of the kisser.

_"Sasuke…you bastard"_

"You are one hell of a kisser"

"I know"

"I love you"

"I know you do sweet"

Ino smile to herself. She has heard stories and knows what is to come next.

"Ino dear…Nothing ever happen tonight…This date never happen" Sasuke whisper only for her to hear.

"I know…So I've heard from others"

"Do you regret it?"

"…"

"For agreeing to this date"

"No…for a guy who blown up that **stuck-up-pink-** **headed-brainless-trash** car…you are okay"

"Ah…did I blow the car up now hmm?"

"I can go home myself"

"Hn"

Ino stood up pecking Sasuke gentle on the forehead before leaving_. _

_"Guess lies spoken by a lover are just as sweet…As again… Sasuke just boost up my popularity…Hell yeah now I am know as the girl who replace Sakura though I'm not the girlfriend…life is great!!"_

Sasuke leans indolently waiting for the bill smirks in victory.

_"For a second there I thought Sakura is really going to crash me with the damn plant"_

_**Mental image of Frankenstein Sakura with messy unruly hair let down like his brother's except that it was pink, accompanied by bulky muscles all over and being 7 feet tall with male anatomy lifting a 30 ton potted plant over his head popped out. "DIE!! You little shit!!" **_

"_Okay…now that's just plain creepy"_

Sakura sat kneeling behind the potted plant with malice prominent in her blazing emerald orb.

_"Ino!! You ruin my plan!! Sasuke isn't supposed to have a good time!! He is supposed to come to me with tail between both legs, begging me to take him in which __**I WON'T**__"_

"Sakura…"

"_Sakura…Sakura…you are so damn predictable" _Sasuke smiling sardonically handed a stack of hundred to the waiter without looking at the bill.

* * *

Smirking Sasuke make his way to Konoha Bank.

"Uchiha Sasuke" he said slipping a fifty to the assistant.

"This way please…he is already here" she smiles showing the way. Reaching a barred gate she pulls out a key opening the lock to reveal a beautiful male in it's reside.

"You may use this room as long as you like" she shuts them both inside and left.

"Madara…"

"My share…"

"Yes…" Sasuke glides to his safe deposit box pulling out a key to release its inner content. Placing the safe on the table he takes out 3 rolls of hundred dollar bill.

"Your share…" Sasuke smile as Madara slips it into his ebony trench coat.

"This also includes the car bombing ne?"

"Yes… now where is the stuff I ask for?"

"Here…" Madara trust a white packet of heroin to Sasuke.

"…"

"You sure spend a lot for revenge"

* * *

**Next Morning… **

"Sakura… why are we in an empty class room?" Ino asked suspiciously.

"Well you see Ino… I happen to notice you with Sasuke" Sakura move closer her fist balled up.

"You must have mistaken than" Ino backed to the wall, panic rising. _"Oh damn…this is bad" _

"Really?"

"W- why do you care anyway? You are not with him anymore" Ino pointed out.

"Why? WHY! You crazy witch!" Sakura shriek striking Ino across the face.

"Sa…"

"You slut!" Sakura strike her again. She kneed Ino in the gut causing her to double over to the floor crashing into a few empty desks.

**COUGH! COUGH!**

"Die! Just die!" Sakura repeatedly kick Ino in the abdomen even when she curled up into a ball in pain.

Ino's hand clutches her abdomen attempting to reduce the injury. Bending down Sakura took a fist full of Ino's blond locks twisting them. She pulls it harshly so that Ino will be facing her.

"You are off the cheerleading squad" Sakura hissed slamming Ino's head to the ground one last time before leaving.

Tears cascade down Ino's cheek as she curls up into a ball on the floor. Her entire body hurts to no end. Blood trickle down her cracked lips, bruises starting to form on her battered form. She grips either side of her locks in anger.

"Bitch…"

"Okay class…here are your chicks" Asuma pat a large box on his desk.

"…"

Okay the girls please come forward to take them… for your partners…You will start by naming it, I want a report on its development by end of the month"

**With Sasuke and Sakura**

Chip…chip…chip…chip….

The little yellow fluff ball looked at Sasuke curiously.

"You name it"

"Why me?" Sakura glare daggers at Sasuke"

"Fine…Chicky than"

"That's horrible"

"I don't see you having a better idea"

"…"

"Clucky will do?"

"No"

"If you are so creative why you don't tell than"

"William Leonardo Picasso Kandinsky"

"What!"

"I want my baby to be proud of his name"

"It's a chick…"

"It's our baby!" "We are not even married!"

"Shut up!"

"You don't even know if it's a male"

Chip…chip…chip…chip….

**SLAM!**

Sakura stood up in anger. "How can you say that to our kid?"

"It's a chick!"

"It's our boy!"

"Oh yeah I can see its similarity with you…you re both annoying!"

**With Naruto and Temari**

"Hey Naruto…what do you want to name it?"

"Hmm…Ha! I know! I have a great idea!"

"Something that does not include Ramen I hope"

"Err…"

"Uh huh…"

"Okay I have another great idea than!"

"Please don't name it Naruto"

"Okay…err…I'm out of ideas"

"…"

"What say you?"

"How about we name it Itachi?"

"Hmm…okay"

Chip…chip…chip…chip…

"Hello Itachi" Temari pat the little fluff ball.

" Itachi..Itachi…do you want ramen dattebayo?"

"He doesn't eat ramen"

"Oh…well that sucks dattebayo"

"…"

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto calls over to the fighting pair.

"What! I'm busy!"

"What did you name yours?"

"Apparently...Sakura named it something I can't remember"

"Its William Leonardo Picasso Kandinsky!" Sakura slams the table in annoyance.

"Yeah that…"

"Ours is named ITACHI!!"

Sasuke's heart skips a bit.

"Wh- what!"_ "They couldn't know right that that nerd in my brother? Why of all name that name?"_

"Temari suggested it…cool yeah dattebayo"

"…"

"Hey Sasuke…you okay? You don't look so good"

* * *

Kisame walks down the hall with Itachi to their biology class.

"Itachi, I suggest you run now"

"Why?"

"Your brother is coming this way and he looks like he mean business" Itachi look up from his book to see a fuming Sasuke coming his way.

"Weasel!" Sasuke boomed.

"Shit…Kisame..."

"GO!" Kisame snatch the stack of books from Itachi.

Itachi bolted down the hall with Sasuke on his tail. Sasuke usually beats him worst when he comes after him alone.

"Weasel! You are just making things worst for yourself" Sasuke yell down the empty hall.

"Damn…Dead end" Itachi stared in disbelief.

"You are dead unless you answer me truthfully…do we understand each other?" Sasuke grabs Itachi's collar pinning him to the wall.

"Yes…"

"Good…"

"…"

"Now have you ever met a girl name Temari?"

"…"

"Answer it and don't lie"

"Yes"

"Next question" Sasuke's grip tighten as he tried to keep his voice from shaking. "What is your relationship with her?"

"Nothing, just friends I guess"

"Meaning?"

"She only talked to me once"

"Does she know we are related?"

"No…" Itachi looked away sadly. He now knows what this conversation is about. Sasuke is afraid that people will know they are related, a fact that hurts Itachi more than any beating Sasuke ever inflict on him.

"Otou…"

"Don't call me that" Sasuke threaten.

"Sorry…"

"Too late" Sasuke grab a fist full of those long obsidian locks twisting them.

"Sasuke…"

"Itachi, let me show you your favorite place" Sasuke smirk

"W-what?"

Sasuke turn Itachi around as he pulls open the door beside them.

"Enjoy…" Sasuke pushes Itachi into the dark narrow room and locks the door with a click.

"Sasuke! Don't do this! Sasuke" Itachi pulls the knob as hard as he could but to no avail.

Left and right the room is drape with old dusty metallic shelf. Cobwebs hung themselves from ceiling, walls and covering the old musty broken furniture.

"Let me out!! Let me OUT!!" Itachi bangs the door.

Cold sweat cascade down his temple as his heart race as though a marathon. Adrenaline pumps in his veins as tears cascade down his cheek. Why would Sasuke do this to him when he clearly knows that he have extreme case of claustrophobia?

Itachi slides down the door hugging his shaky body.

The memories of hell flooded in though try as he might to block it out.

**FLASHBACK **

**A 6 year old Itachi sat quietly doing his homework in a hurry trying to finish it before his parents got home. If they saw him writing with his left hand again he would have hell to pay. **

"**Itachi!" shriek his mother from the hallway.**

**Timidly Itachi looked up from his book to the enrage women. **

**"Mom?"**

**"You demon child! You are a disgrace!" **

**She stomps up to him while he tried to make a break for it. He couldn't bare being whip again. His teachers have been asking him why he comes to school ribbon with so many slash marks and bruises. His excuse is running out. **

**"You ungrateful child!" **

**His mother caught him by the arm dragging him down the corridor. **

**"Please I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Itachi cried the harder. **

**His mother ignores all his pleas throwing him into a dark narrow store room and locks the door. **

**"Mom! I'm sorry!!" **

**Itachi was locked inside for almost three days without food or water. On the third night the door creak open slightly revealing his little brother. **

**"Otouto…?" Itachi said weakly; too weak to even lift his head. **

**"Aniki…I brought you something to eat…mommy and daddy are sleeping" Sasuke puts down a plate full of dango and a big glass of water. **

**End flashback**

"Itachi…you in there?" came a familiar voice.

"Kisame?!" Itachi sobbed.

"Okay calm down…I'll get you out" Kisame said.

He had gone in search for Itachi when he saw Sasuke coming back in less than 5 minute without Itachi. It's too short of a time for Sasuke to beat Itachi up and get back.

"Hurry up…"

_"Damn…Sasuke took the key for this door" _"I'll go get someone to open it okay?"

NO!"

"Itachi…" "No! I don't care if you take hours just don't leave me!"

* * *

"I know I promise about dissecting roaches today but it seems my entire crate full of them has disappeared" Asuma explain.

"Yeah…I bet it mutated and sprouted legs un" Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Seriously **this time** I really did order your experiments"

"Now what was it that happen to our 32 experiment before this un?... OH YEAH!!...they were stolen by missing nins, they sprouted wings, a cat nin took it, a bird stole it, than…."

"OKAY!! SHUT UP GAY KID!! I CAN HEAR YOU"

"…"

"I like it better when you do something useful with that big mouth of yours other than talk!"

"Ummmm"

"OTHER THAN KISSING RED!!

_**I'm too sexy for my love, Too sexy for my love, Love's going to leave me, I'm too sexy for my shirt, Too sexy for my shirt, So sexy it hurts**_

"Opps sorry un" Deidara pulls out his Nokia 6282. "Yeah un?"

"Deidara get Sasori and come help me get Itachi out of the store room" came Kisame's voice.

"How did he…" "Just come!"

* * *

"You better be sure about this Sakura because girl… this thing isn't a few ounces" Temari pants heaves a large crate down flights of stairs with Karin, both struggling to keep up with the **oh-so-pink-smart-beautiful-Miss because I say so-I am Goddess Venus-The Head of the Cheerleader-I just got my nails made-BASTARD.**

HISS…HISS….

Just as predicted…everyone had gone leaving the **hair fetish demigod** alone in the locker room, showering after PE. Well not that they have PE…Gai is still out for **SASUKE KNOWS WHAT REASON.**

"Are there **snakes** in there?"

"Here we are...Wow I'm **exhausted**"

_"Yeah… exhausted from walking down the stairs carrying a 250ml bottle and a video camera that must have weight a ton"_ Temari rolled her eyes as both Karin and her open the large crate ready to tip its heavy content.

"Where did you find whatever that's in there?"

HISS…HISS…

**In The Guy's Locker Room…**

**CREAK…the opening of door**

Tud…Tud…Tud….

HISS…HISS…

"Just go…I can take care of myself" Sasuke groped blindly for his conditioner.

Hair is the **number one** most important thing in his life. If someone was to threaten him with a knife to dye his hair or take his life he would be in the world greatest dilemma. NOBODY TOUCHES **THE HAIR**.

**1 hour 45 minutes later…**when his skin started pruning up…

Sasuke came out of the shower with a towel wrap around his waist. He wipes the steam off the titan mirror hanging in the room. Sasuke's eye widen to the size of a saucer plate if that was even possible.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!!" Sasuke grip his now spiky bubble gum green locks.

Unfortunately for Sasuke that isn't all that's installed for him. Something is crawling up his bare leg. Higher and higher up his thigh… Looking down…

HISSS…HISSSS…

"**HOLY SHIT!! WAH!! AHHHH!!"**

Sasuke jumps 5 feet off the ground swapping aggressively at a dozen cockroaches clinging to his leg and discarding his infested towel in the process.

The entire room is infested with at least 10 thousand **Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches**.

"HOLY SHIT!! SHIT!! OHMIGOSH!!"

From the corner of his eyes he could perceive that even his garments lying on the bench were infested.

HISS…HISS…HISS….

So what do you do when you are in a nightmare that you can't get up? And to top it all with the cherry…your reputation is at stake.

* * *

Review please...flames are accepted...enjoy...


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